I receive emails from Spankos, on the daily, who ask similar questions. I thought I’d put together a blog post to answer them. These answers are my own; I’m not speaking for other Disciplinarians, only myself. Nor are my answers all inclusive or written in stone, they can change as I change and grow and learn. Happy spanking reading!
Q: How do you decide what implements to use? A- If you’re new to spanking, please be honest about it! You’ll have a much better experience if you tell me the truth. If you’ve never experimented on your own, I would highly recommend doing so. Yes, I’m suggesting you spank yourself.
Now, this isn’t going to be the same as receiving a spanking from someone else but it will give you the opportunity to see what different implements feel like. Try using things from your home first like a hairbrush, small wooden cutting board, wooden spoon, leather belt (if you can) and so on. This will give us an idea of what you’re drawn to.
Then, we can test other things out during your session to confirm your findings. I understand you’re eager to get your session started but it’s advisable to try different things so I can get an idea of what implement to use for each type of session, whether that be punishment, sensual, role play, etc.
If you’re a regular client, we’ve had that conversation in the beginning and I’ve made mental note. I’m not going to ask you, so if you would like to try something new, ask me. I’m very open to changing it up and I won’t be offended.
Q: How do you decide how long the spanking should be? A: Sessions are typically an hour. Some naughties book for a longer period of time. I can and will spank you for close to an hour or more unless that is going against your limits in some way. (No blood, no bruises, etc.) This is different than if we were in a domestic setting, relationship or I was your mommy. Then, I’d spank you until I thought you learned your lesson and I was finished.
Q: How do you decide how hard to spank me? A: I’m a firm believer in the punishment should fit the crime, so, cursing- mouth soaping, driving while intoxicated- a severe spanking, on and on. However, not everyone is open to mouth soaping and if you tell me you do not want any part of a mouth soaping, I will have to get creative, but I will honor your limits.
Q: How do you decide when I’ve had enough? A: We discuss your limits prior to the session. For instance, you told me that you do not want bruising. I can’t guarantee there will be no bruising, but I will do my very best to honor your limits. If you begin to bruise during the session I might stop and discuss it with you or switch to a different spot or implement and definitely adjust the level of impact, meaning I would spank you less hard. That is all a judgment call I make in the moment and have gotten very good at over the years.
Q: What happens if I get “excited” when I go across your lap? A: This is very common. You won’t be the first, nor will you be the last. If you tend to “drip” a lot and you know it, I’d appreciate a head’s up so I can put a towel across my lap. You get extra points if you bring a towel and offer to drape it across my lap.
Thoughtfulness will always earn you a special place in my heart. You wouldn’t be in a session with me if I didn’t already know you were thoughtful because I don’t see people who are rude, crude or socially unacceptable. Of course you can be rude, crass, and downright naughty if we’re role playing, that’s acceptable, but you’d better be polite upfront or NO SESSION FOR YOU!! (Remember that when you’re corresponding with me or your email will get tossed out and you will be ignored/blocked.)
Q: What if you decide I need another punishment during my session? Say I cursed or smarted off – would I have to have a mouth soaping? A: I touched on this a bit above, but I’ll go over it again =D You and I will communicate via email prior to the session. I will ask you what your limits are and you need to list what you don’t want. I realize that most people don’t want a mouth soaping, but you may be open to it if I find a reason to give it to you. It’s also okay to say, I’ve never had a mouth soaping before but I’m open to trying it or I want a severe mouth soaping where I can’t talk because my lips are so swollen. (Yes, I’ve given this kind before.)
I hope you’re beginning to understand that open, honest communication with me is the key to having a
pleasurable positive experience during your session. I enjoy reading about your fantasies and always appreciate when you include them if they are a part of what you envision during your time with me.
Q: Should I tip you? A: It’s a very nice gesture to tip if you’ve had a spanktastic experience, but its not required. I realize that some of you may have just barely been able to scrape together my hourly fee and that’s ok. If you’re able to tip, it’s always appreciated.
Q: Your rates are so high! Why would I pay you to spank me? I want a real woman to spank me. I don’t pay to play. A: To that I say, you are an ignorant asshole. Crawl back into the hole from which you came. Just because I get paid to do something I love does not make me any less of a woman.
I challenge you, oh rude one, to find a “real” woman who has/will: put years into learning safe techniques on various implements, invested a small fortune into implements, is willing to dress up for you, role play with you, set everything up an hour before you show up, take everything down after you leave, sanitize every piece of equipment that was used on you including the sheets, massage table, spanking benches or implements, travel to you and lastly, but most importantly, not permanently injure you because she didn’t know what she was doing. You might want to rethink your strategy here before turning a woman loose with an object and objective of hitting you.
These types of emails are ridiculous! Why bother to waste your time writing this or my time in reading it? Get a life!
Q: What if I have health problems? Does that mean you won’t see me? A: I need certain information from you and I need you to be honest about it. I’m not going to turn you away because of every health issue but I might need additional information from you. If you have health issues such as Diabetes, Hypoglycemia, heart problems, bad knees or ANY medical condition that could cause you to become unconscious during our session, you need to tell me BEFORE our session.
Q: What if I can’t be bruised because my wife will find out? A: Good for you for taking care of your needs. Please don’t feel guilty about it, there’s no sex and no “cheating” here. Please don’t tell me about how your wife and you have a non-existent sex life. That’s not my business and I’m not your Therapist. I’m sorry if that sounds snooty or uncaring but I’m here to take care of your “spanking therapy”. Save that talk for the marriage counselor or your Therapist.
I ask everyone I email with before the session how they feel about bruising. Your answers can include: No bruising! -or- I’m a Masochist; whip me, beat me, make me bleed, heavy spanking’s what I need! -or- I’m somewhere in between -or- any variation of those. =D
I could go on forever here. That’s enough spanking Q&A for today. I hope this helps clear up a little confusion and aids you in getting over the proverbial hump that is booking your session. Book your session today. Do it now. Don’t wait. Because I said so…
Spanks and hugs,